Monday my husband and I will celebrate our 19th anniversary and take a 2 day stay-cation in the middle of a work week. It isn’t a long time and we have little planned, but we will be together.
Our birthdays are 2 days apart in November, six months after our anniversary. It has become our bi-annual ritual that we can count on. Every six months we send the kids to family or friends and take a short trip or keep it simple and stay in town.
Rituals of Connection are attaching points in your relationship that you can count on. They can be mundane or more festive, but they are a healthy and intentional part of a marriage.
I like the idea of establishing daily, weekly and annual rituals in your relationship.
I have always been a big fan of bedtime for my kids, ONE because my kids function so much better with adequate sleep, and TWO, because my marriage functions so much better on shared time.
It gets a little trickier as the kids get older, but Rich and I sill have protected time in the evening, often between 9 and 10 where we come together kid free. Usually it involves watching “our show” (whatever that is at the time). Sometimes swapping back rubs is included, but other times its just sharing the couch and space together with our attention on the same thing.
Another daily ritual that I have noticed Rich does is when he leaves and when he comes home from work he always hunts me down and gives me a kiss. He always tells me “bye” or “hi” in this way. I might be more likely to yell, “see you!” and fly out the door, but Rich always does this and I have gotten use to it as something I can count on even if it is very ordinary for us.
A monthly ritual of connection of ours is we have a date night. That does become easier with older kids, but even if your kids are young making this a priority can be such an investment in your marriage. I have a client who has a babysitter on reserve for the 1st and 3rd Tuesday of the month. They picked Tuesdays because there are never kid’s activities and so they put a tag on this night that says. “For US.”
What are your rituals of connection? I bet you have some. What rituals would you like to build into your relationship?