If your life was your favorite book or movie you would value every part. It is each chapter and scene that make the story.
You love a story not because it is linear, but because it has dimension. It has ups and downs. It has a climax. Drama. Humor. It has a scene where you think there is no hope, but then things take a twist.
Lets start and fast forward through a classic movie and bullet point some notes:
- This is the part where she is struggling and takes desperate measures to make ends meet.
- This is the part where she gets a glimpse a life she never even imagined.
- This is the part where he says he loves her.
- This is the part where it seems impossible for them to be together.
- This is the part where she runs away because she doesn’t feel good enough.
- This is the part where he chases her and fights for her.
If you erased all the parts where things felt unpleasant, the story would not be interesting. The good parts would not be elating. It is the contrast that makes the story so rich.
In your marriage, you have all the parts that make for a great story.
There is the part where your husband does __________ and you feel ___________.
There is the part where XYZ happens and you feel __________.
Then there is the other part where you ________ because _________.
In my marriage there is the part where I feel giddy. And annoyed. And happy. And mad. And bored. And excited. And disappointed. And in love.
Those are all the parts. When the part comes where I feel the feeling I don’t love, I just notice that my thought is creating that feeling and I can just allow it or I can change my thought.
When I am not ready to totally change my thought, I just sort of change it by thinking, “This is the part where I think this thought and feel anxious.”
And then its not so bad. It is just part of the story. And who doesn’t love a good story?