Many clients tell me, “I just want to be happy.”
If I sold peace and joy in a bottle, I would sell out immediately.
We blame our unhappiness on other people and circumstances.
If this person or situation were different THEN I would be content.
We focus on what other’s have (or appear to have) that we don’t. We covet. We feel unfortunate.
And yet, this is life. There will always be another person or a situation to blame.
The upside of blame is immediate relief. It is uncomfortable to stay in our lane and take responsibility for our own thoughts and behaviors. (Take it from Eve, folks).
Yet, beyond the immediate moment, ownership reaps a great reward (Psalms 126:5, Proverbs 11:18, Proverbs 22:8, Matthew 13:24).
It is not circumstances and people that cause our pain. It is our thoughts about them that give rise to emotion and action. The evidence is two individuals in the same difficult situation, yet one is singing songs of praise and the other is fearing, complaining and blaming.
What if you zoomed out of your situation and relationship and examined what you REALLY believe? The proof is in the pudding, or the results you are experiencing in your life. Your results will show what beliefs you are fueling.
Consider these 3 beliefs:
1. God is good.
2. God has ultimate power over all things.
3. God loves me unconditionally.
If you REALLY believed this you would feel 100% secure and loveable. And those feelings would drive your actions.
When I operate from a place of security and worthiness, I:
- Value my relationship with God as the foundation (rely on Him, seek his direction, trust, obey).
- Engage confidently with others without desperation or demanding.
- Enjoy life and people.
- Take my energy off what other’s have that I don’t.
- Quit looking for evidence that I have been wronged.
- Focus on managing my thoughts, feelings, and actions. (that’s a full-time job, people!)
- Find ways to abide in my relationship with Jesus.
- Simply love (because it always feels better).
When I show up in this way, peace and joy are mine.
To be human does not mean we will feel good and be happy all the time. There will always be this contrast of The Spirit Woman and The Flesh Woman—our redeemed self (the already) and the part of us that still groans inwardly as we wait for the redemption of our bodies (the not yet). (Romans 8:23).
Ask God to show you your heart and mind (Psalms 139:23). This part is the “abiding in Him”.
He has you. You already are 100% lovable and secure. You just have to choose to believe and keep practicing receiving.