I get to decide how I think and feel about you. And you can’t stop me.
I want to be married to my husband. I want to love him and our life together.
I decided that I am going to think things that make me feel loving towards him regardless of what he does. When I do this, I am choosing unconditional love. I want to feel love for him no matter what because that feels better to me than hate or judgment.
When we feel things like hate and judgment, we are the one who suffers most. Because your feelings are an internal experience, they are felt by you, not by the person you are having those feelings about.
You can love someone or hate someone and you are the one having that experience. There are people I adore and admire and they hardly know I exist. I feel strong positive feelings toward them. That love is my experience not theirs.
Even if they know I exist and I act loving toward them, they don’t feel my feeling. They only interpret my actions that come from my feeling of love as their thought. Their thought. Not mine. They think something about what I do or say and they they feel what they feel based on their thought. That is the feeling they experience.
I have my feelings and you have your feelings.
You can hate me and I can still love you.
It feels so much better to love you than hate you. So why wouldn’t I choose that?
Some tell me it hurts to love.
Loving never hurts.
If you love someone and they leave you, cheat on you or say something horrible its not the love you have for them that hurts. What hurts is the meaning you give to the thing they did. Your feelings may hurt, but the love never caused the hurt.
If I love someone and make a bid to connect and they don’t reciprocate, I might make that mean I am not interesting, lovable or good enough. I might feel unloved. I might say it hurts to love. However my feeling of love did not cause the feeling of hurt. The meaning I gave their actions caused my pain.
Withholding love never protects you or hurts someone else. It only hurts you.
When you say, “They don’t deserve my love,” you are simply denying yourself the feeling of love.
You are the only one who feels your feeling of love.
Love is an emotion you experience in your body. It fuels what you do and don’t do. It is your experience. It does not jump out of your body into someone else’s body. It is simply your feeling.
No matter what someone does, we get to feel love. It is such a great choice.
This does not mean we don’t set boundaries. It just means we don’t have to feel hate or anger doing it. We don’t have to react.
Humans do things from a place of pain. We can hate them for it or love them as a human.
You decide how you want to feel about someone. Why not choose love?
It feels amazing.