Many of us dreamed of falling in love. We dreamed about it as though it were something that would happen to us. We imagined another person would be so compelling that meeting them would make our life complete.
What if I told you that your experience with another person only consisted of your thoughts? In other words, your relationship was just a string of sentences in your head. The relationship was not something outside of you. “Falling in Love” was not an event.
We do not actually “fall in love.” (Sorry to burst the magic of romance). We simply meet someone and we experience thoughts about them that make us feel certain things. It is the things that we think that make us feel love, desire or delight.
So it’s not the person. It’s the thoughts. Our brain is the filter in which we take in the world and other people. What we think creates our feelings. Someone is lovable, not because of who they are or what they have done, but because of how we think about them.
What are some feelings you
had for your husband in the early days of your relationship (attracted,
interested, curious, amused)? What thoughts made you feel those things?